WHY GETTING MY SEPTUM PIERCING WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID FOR MY SELF ESTEEM

GETTING A SEPTUM PIERCING

If I can do this, I can do anything

3 days ago (Friday) I was struck with the sudden urge to do 3 things; get my hair cut, get a tattoo, and get a septum piercing.

The hair cut came Sunday, since after spending months growing out my pixie cut I was FINALLY at the length I wanted. After having it at chin length for only a week I remembered very quickly why I kept it at the length I did for so many years and chopped it back off again. I tell myself I'll grow it out eventually but this being the 3rd time I've tried and failed to grow it out in the last 6 years I'm not going to hold my breath.

Secondly, the tattoo. Something I've wanted for years, something I've always found attractive on others, but for several reasons (both personal and professional) I never ended up going through with. This was not something that I wanted to rush into, so I squashed down the urge for now and am researching artists, pricing, and design so that that decision can be made with forethought, since unlike a haircut or a piercing, it's fairly permanent. 

Lastly, there was the septum piercing.

For the last several years, I have talked to my husband about getting a nose piercing and a tattoo about 1,000 times, and each time I always found a way to chicken out it. It was too expensive, it would hurt, it wouldn't look professional, my parent's would disapprove, you name it. Some reasons were more legitimate than others, but regardless, it was always enough to deter me. 

So last Friday night, when I was having the exact same argument with myself I always had in the last few years, my husband finally drew the line. He said 'You know I don't like nose piercings, I don't think they're attractive, but you've been talking about this for years, so if you're feeling motivated go do it.' I took his advice to heart, as I always have, and trusted his opinion. He's always been an amazing supportive spouse and points me in the right direction when I feel like I need guidance. (Attempting not to brag but he's wonderful.)

To explain my interest in nose piercings, I've always been self conscious of 3 of my facial features; my long round/oval face shape, my small upturned nose, and the large gap between my prominent cupids bow. There are several of my facial features I like as well, my eye color, by lips, and my prominent cupids bow (I assure you, I don't hate all of my facial features).

I noticed that nose piercings, especially septum piercings, created a diverting source from a small nose, lip, or large gap between the nose and lips. I am not in support of botox or plastic surgery (personal preference for myself, if you're into it, great!) so a piercing, especially one that I found attractive, and for all intents and purposes, could remove if I ever tired of it, would be perfect. And best of all, if I need to hide it I can just tuck it up into my nostril.

This would be something that would help me like my own face more, that would help me appreciate my own features, and be a statement of my individuality and make my face truer to my authentic self. 

On Saturday I called a parlor one of my best friends got her septum done at, and made an appointment for 8pm after my 8 month old daughter was in bed for the night, at Mad Ethels Tattoo and Piercing Parlor in Raleigh, NC. (If you're in the area, this place was wonderful!)

I was apprehensive making the appointment, and invited my husband to come with me and experience the process with me. Though he is unendingly supportive, he is incredibly squeamish, so even mentioning the word 'cartilage' and 'needle' was making him gag. There was no way he would be able to make it though the appointment in one piece.

I then asked my best friends who lived in the area, but unfortunately they were both unable to come due to their own plans for the weekend. They both urged me to wait until they could come, as they would LOVE to have been part of the experience, and though I considered it, I knew that if I had waited even just a week I would have lost my motivation and courage and put off the piercing again for who knew how long. They understood, as great friends do, and then it was decided, I was doing this alone.

I am one of those people that always feels more comfortable surrounded by friends and loved ones than I do alone. I'm an extrovert, I'm chatty, and rarely do anything this dramatic without someone at my side to talk to, make jokes, and generally bring a certain levity to the fearful situation.

Even during labor, I had 4 people present to see the birth of my daughter! Strangely enough, having them there made me more comfortable. 

The time grew closer, and as it did I grew more terrified by the minute. The hour before my appointment my heart was beating out of my chest. After dealing with downtown traffic, an unexpected festival that made parking nearly impossible, the stress of being alone at night in the city, I was almost completely shaking.

Walking down the couple of blocks from the parking garage to the parlor I couldn't remember the last time I had been that afraid. I wasn't afraid for labor, I wasn't afraid to be a wife, a mom, or anything objectively more permanent and frightening than getting a stupid little nose piercing.

I was afraid of the pain, afraid of what people would think, afraid I would look like a completely naive basic white girl walking into that tattoo shop that could not have stuck out more than an Skittle in a bag of Cheetos. I was afraid that people would look at me differently, think I was going through a 'phase', that I was trying to desperately grasp to my youth, and that being a mother and wife at 22 had gotten to me, so I felt a need to be 'different' and 'rebel'.

I know how judgement people can be. I know how judgemental I can be. Coming from a strictly religious family didn't help put aside those fears either. 

My hands were numb, my feet tapped, and I watched the clock anxiously and I waited for my turn with the piercer. The staff was friendly and kind, the parlor clean, and the atmosphere professional but comfortable. There was no reason to be nervous other than my own fears.

I was alone, no one to make this feel like it 'wasn't a big deal'. It was a big deal. A step into something completely unknown to me.

When I was laying on the table while the piercer felt around my nose, I was petrified, my heart hammered. What was I doing? This could be a horrible mistake. I'm not some 16 year old drop out trying to get back at my parents. I'm a student, a mother, a daughter, a wife. This wasn't something people as boring as myself did. 

I focused on my breathing, in and out, slowly.

In an instant, before I even knew it, the 3 seconds of minor pain was over. The needle was through the thin patch of skin between the cartilage in my nose, and the ring was in.

My heart slowed almost instantly. That was it? 3 seconds, a mild pinch, and this huge decision I had struggled with for 6 years was finally made? I'd done it?

The feeling that washed over me in that moment was euphoric. I was serene. I was zen.I was proud. I was proud of myself.

When I was allowed to sit up and look at myself in the mirror I was shocked at how small the ring was. That's it? This little thing? That's what I was freaking out over? It was such a minor detail on my face, but it made all the difference.

I had done something that was so frightening to me, despite how I knew my family would react, that my husband didn't think it was attractive, that my daughter could use her little fingers and pull on it painfully, that my friends weren't there to encourage me, and that it would change strangers perceptions of me. I had done it. Terrified, alone, with no motivation other than my own, I had done it. Something so out of character for me, something so unusual, I had done it.

It was a similar feeling to the emotion that had swept over me immediately after labor, the 'if I can do this, I can do anything' feeling. The confidence, the pride, the adrenaline all mixed together in this cocktail of emotion.

I was almost in tears. There are only a few moments in my life that I can say I was genuinely proud of myself, no doubt, no hesitation, and question that I had done the right thing:

1. Married my husband

2. Dyed my hair bright blue (for 2 months)

3. Gave birth to my daughter

And now #4. Got my septum ring

It was a feeling that I recognised as soon as I had it. It lingered with me for the next day, and even into this one. I keep looking at myself in the mirror, appreciating the way that it looks on my face. Loving the way it makes my face look more unique but also complete. It doesn't look strange, it looks good, it looks normal. I'm still surprised by how instantly I got used to the way it looks on my face.

The aesthetic benefits aren't the only benefits I got from the experience. I was expecting to like the piercing, but I wasn't expecting to like myself as much as I did for doing this. This ring on my nose, that I see every time I look at a mirror, in every photo I take, and feel whenever I touch my nose, is a constant reminder to myself that I conquered my fear.

That I did something brave, and terrifying, and exhilarating, all on my own, and it's an experience I'll always have, and be able to share with others. Especially my young daughter, who I want to teach to not be so afraid of judgement and opinions of others that it keeps her from doing something that will make her feel better about herself. It's a lesson that I want to not only tell her but show her. One day when she's older I hope she understands why this was such a big deal to me, and hope that she can share in similar experience when she's old enough.

I hope this account of my experience was helpful and encouraging! 

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The link to the shop where I got my piercing is linked here Mad Ethel's Tattoo & Piercing

Let me know in the comments below what you think, everything I use to complete this look is listed below.

PRODUCT LIST

Jaclyn Hill x Morphe Palette
Milani: Lipstick NATURAL CHIC
Urban Decay: Optical Illusion Primer

NYX Cosmetics: Eyebrow Pencil
Smashbox: 24 Hour Eye Primer | Primer Water

Stila: Waterproof Liquid Liner
Essence Makeup: Gel Eyeliner Pencil

Loreal: Infallible Setting Spray | True Match Foundation
Maybelline: Big Shot Mascara

BH Cosmetics: Studio Pro Concealer

Morphe: Brushes

Sigma: Brushes

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